Hope and Faith

One of our relatives from my husband’s side, a teenage girl of thirteen, is battling throat cancer which has spread to her bones and the blood, in the Tata Memorial Center in Mumbai. Chances of her recovery are very thin, that's what we have been told. Just three weeks back she was in Bahrain and now in Mumbai. It is a very sad situation and we have no answers to our WHYs. I firmly believe in one's destiny but I also equally believe that hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them and faith makes things possible, though not easy. Sometimes God allows pain so we can be stronger and sometimes He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves. And there are times God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything that He gave us. Time, the cradle of hope and life without faith in something is too narrow a space to live.

We do not know what's in store for the young girl Venessa, but let us all pray for her, strengthening our faith in the Lord and hope for the best.

Aging Gracefully...

An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints.
"I see spots before my eyes," he said.
"It's due to old age," said the doctor.
"No food agrees with me," said the man.
"That too is due to old age," said the doctor.
"The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older."
"My back is giving trouble," persisted the man.
"Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable."
"Old age," said the doctor.
This was too much for the man.
"Why do you go on saying 'old age, old age'," he screamed.
"If you cannot cure me, say so. I'll go elsewhere."
"See how easily you lost your temper," said the doctor.
"That is another characteristic of old age."

May be, a person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. It is sort of harmless to pass comments about one's age, I guess. And many of us joke about it harmlessly quite often. But still many of us also have a deep unease about our age and our aging.. an unease that can hold back our self-esteem and our happiness. For many of us for many reasons, denying our age is a harmless game.. isn’t it? As we age older and as we get further away from birth and closer to death, we are sensitive about our age. It's just a way to share our unease of growing older with people around us. Is our happiness, self-esteem, our zest, sense of daily joy and our life satisfaction is all at stake as we age? Aging gracefully should be a matter of self-esteem for all of us as age is important. Denying one's age, or even being sensitive about it, can put one out of action. Our years, our heritage, our scars good or bad are all part of who we are. They should be a matter of comfort and pride and even our joy. I don't think we should let happiness elude us, which we do so when we feel embarrassed, guilty, or even shy about any part of who we are.

There was a time when the elders were revered, because they bore knowledge, wisdom and traditions which were carried down from generations. These days I feel we settle for just knowledge. Am I too old-fashioned, not exactly.. I am just stating a fact. Youth has its own beauty, advantages, joy and reasons to be admired of. So, does the middle age. In fact, every age is important and every age is beautiful. Whatever age we are, right now that is the perfect age for each one of us..the perfect age to be proud of.

They say that age is all in your mind. We do not grow old merely by living a number of years, but we grow old by deserting our ideals. Just a few months back, I needed to change my job. Having secured a wonderful job since then I feel that at the time, I was a little bit stupid, confused and indecisive as I was during my teens.. and worrying because of my age.. whereas all I wanted to be wise, self-confident and assertive as I was during my mid twenties. My dear and near ones did not let me give up my enthusiasm amidst my confusion and indecisiveness and today I am truly indebted to all of them. I thank the Almighty for everything.

On a lighter note, well, the other day, I did detect a single silver delicate hair on my left eye-brow!! To my plain eye it was invisible but wearing my spectacles yes.. Now.. don’t expect me to let the cat out of the bag totally.. I am just…. As Mortimer Collins quotes “A man is as old as he's feeling, A woman as old as she looks”. I will leave it to your imagination!!

In the central place of every heart
there is a recording chamber.
So long as it receives a message of
beauty, hope, cheer, and courage –
so long are you young.
When the wires are all down
and our heart is covered with
the snow of pessimism
and the ice of cynicism,
then, and only then,
are you grown old.
~Douglas MacArthur

Before I forget

Let me jot down what I want to write. Oh..Oh…before I forget let me first get that cold cuppa tea from the micro left for warming up, just for 30 secs..

Getting ready to go to office.. I watch my worried expression reflected in the dressing table mirror.. I want something.. what’s it.. think…think. What’s it? Uttering an expletive (in my case it helps, I am not sure about others) suddenly I remember that I am looking for a particular shade of lipstick! I am getting late, any time a miscall on my mobile is due from the lady who provides transport, a sharp reminder that I have to go to work. Oh, where is my lipstick? Gotcha! It’s in my bag…. Now which one….ooooh? There goes my failing memory..again and again.

These days I holler for my son if he is around to pick up the wanted stuff from the fridge, which is in the bedroom for lack of space in the kitchen. If I am lucky enough it appears in a zippy, for Soccer on the television won’t let him hear his mom’s shout. Otherwise my parched throat urges me towards the fridge to get what I want myself, only to stand in front of it scratching my head as to why I am there for!

Since the blogging began, I have burnt two of my only steel vessels, which reminds me I need to visit Geant Supermarket .. there is a big sale!

An elephant never forgets they say. Oh, how I wish I had an elephant’s memory.. with a five feet tall and 148 lbs heavy frame! Wishful thinking..

On a serious note, my heart goes out to people who suffer from Alzheimer’s disease, amnesia and other memory related diseases. Let a prayer always be on our lips for such sufferers.

As we age, we have many things to remember, so we tend to forget. My hubby is not immune to this.. only one thing he remembers is to reach his own house at the end of the day everyday! Rest all is a mystery.. But I have learnt that if you don't have a good memory, you have to have good habits such as always putting the house keys in the same place or always doing things in the same order. Memory improves with practice, that's been working for me. We keep learning, it's good practice, but with two perpetual haphazard guys at home, partial amnesia affects me once in a while.

Right under your very own nose

“Tales of Nasreddin Hodja” a book from my son’s school library was my first introduction to Nasreddin Hodja. Mulla (a.k.a. Hodja or Hoca) Nasrudin is the starring character in a vast number of amusing tales told in regions all over the world, particularly in countries in or near the Middle East. Each tale depicts Nasrudin in a different situation, and through his viewpoint they humorously reveal commentary and lessons on various life themes. The great allure of the Mulla Nasrudin tales is that they are funny as well as lesson filled, philosophical, and thought provoking. I enjoyed them so much I got a copy made. Even now, when I feel that some humour could relieve my frayed nerves, I dig for it or a James Harriet or Catherin Cookson’s works of fiction. They act like soothing balm, believe me. I Don’t miss them..I like humour.

My passion for reading has made me hoard a good collection of books of different authors most of them from the Gulf Air Thrift Shop (earlier it used to be in Muharraq, now I have no idea), BSPCA Thrift shop in Budaiya and many supermarkets and book shops in Bahrain. Contributions from some of my friends while leaving this Island for good, have also added to my cache, a sure way to remember them time and again. Collection from various parts of Delhi bookshops, Janpath especially and most memorable ones from Higgins Botham book store in Mangalore in the 80s had to be given up and distributed when I left both these places for greener pastures. But over here my collection continues for the past nineteen years. I am a bit stingy in sharing them with any Tom, Dick and Harry, though I don’t mind doing so with ONLY some of my trusted friends because it hurts me when books left my book-shelves never got see their owner again, which has happened quite often.

Mention of my 'reading and collection' hobby is just in the passing. But two of the incidents that took place recently reminded me of wise Hodja's tales and the lessons to be learnt.

Quote:

What in the in the World Were You Smuggling?

Nasrudin the smuggler was leading a donkey that had bundles of straw on its back. An experienced border inspector spotted Nasrudin coming to his border. “Halt,” the inspector said. “What is your business here?”“I am an honest smuggler!” replied Nasrudin.“Oh, really?” said the inspector. “Well, let me search those straw bundles. If I find something in them, then you are required to pay a border fee!”“Do as you wish, “Nasrudin replied, “but you will not find anything in those bundles.” The inspector intensively searched and took apart the bundles, but could not find a single thing in them. He turned to Nasrudin and said, “You have managed to get one by me today. You may pass the border.” Nasrudin crossed the border with his donkey while the annoyed inspector looked on. And then the very next day, Nasrudin once again came to the border with a straw-carrying donkey. The inspector saw Nasrudin coming and thought, “I’ll get him for sure this time.” He checked the bundles of straw again, and then searched through Nasrudin’s clothing, and even went through the donkey’s harness. But once again he came up empty handed and had to let Nasrudin pass. This same pattern continued every day for several years, and every day Nasrudin wore more and more extravagant clothing and jewelry that indicated he was getting wealthier. Eventually, the inspector retired from his longtime job, but even in retirement he still wondered about the man with the straw-carrying donkey. “I should have checked that donkey’s mouth more extensively,” he thought to himself. “Or maybe he hid something in the donkey’s rectum.”

Then one day he spotted Nasrudin’s face in a crowd. “Hey,” the inspector said, “I know you! You are that man who came to my border everyday for all those years with a straw-carrying donkey. Please, sir, I must talk to you.”Nasrudin came towards him and the inspector continued talking. “My friend, I always wondered what you were smuggling past my border everyday. Just between you and me, you must tell me. I must know. What in the world were you smuggling for all those years? I must know!”

Nasrudin simply replied, “donkeys.”
Unquote

Incident 1: We were duped recently in a gold scheme where gold could be bought in exchange of cash paid monthly, even after having heard some unhealthy rumours and going ahead with it. Organisers had the wisdom of Smuggler Hodja who vamoosed into the thin air with loads of money collected from clients. We the border inspectors are still awaiting for some good news, high hopes really!

Incident 2: An Australian woman, who thought she was a card cloning victim, lost her money not once but twice. Someone somehow withdrew her money in India, where she hadn’t set foot for almost a decade she claims, from her account in Bahrain. She has now withdrawn all her money from the bank and cancelled her card. She is planning to take the bank to the courts as the bank is unwilling to reimburse her lost money.

There are a lot of serious incidents like these and to touch on them unless I have a thorough knowledge or expertise would be foolhardiness. We should learn lessons from such experiences, but do we? No. Once bitten twice shy.. are we? No! Careful and alert, we can avoid such situations. But still, we are like the dumb border inspector letting every time the wise Hodja go scot-free and smuggle his donkeys right under our noses!!

In my opinion..

The Driving License that I possess since April 15, 1994 to be precise, more than fifteen years now, deserves a very prominent place on our drawing room wall enlarged in the largest possible size, laminated and framed of course! In fact, this is one of the many views of my hubby and I won’t dispute them either. The License is no less a Trophy for me at least, if you ask my opinion!!

When I arrived in Bahrain in 1990, the traffic, especially the roads weren’t in such a chaos or mess, the way they are today. Beautiful roundabouts with palm trees on the pavements, while different models of brand new cars whizzing past by me that too driven by women, were enough to stimulate my senses to pester my hubby to enroll me for the driving classes, which was not so difficult then. He was and is still such a sweet guy. First of all he did not want to say ‘no’ to his sweetheart of one and half year, who was away from him immediately after the marriage and who had just arrived in Bahrain. Perhaps, he also wanted to show off (!?) to his friends and dear and near ones, her driving skills? After enrolling myself for the theory classes at the Traffic Directorate, Isa Town and subsequent practical classes by no less than two of the driving instructors (first one was a real pain, I had to hunt for a second one after 18 classes), it was time at last for my driving test. ‘D’ Day.. changing gears in lanes, going up a hill, taking a right or left turn, most important of all reversing the car without the help of the instructor was not all that easy as I had thought. It was difficult to get past the experienced and smart Inspectors who took tests, and well, I flunked my first test, second and third one in succession. Ultimately, after 36 driving classes and the fourth test I got through. The thrill that I experienced in holding my driving license in my hands was far better than driving the car itself.

For the first two years, I did drive, initially almost daily from my office to home, which is only a five minutes drive! I know my driving used to send shivers down my beloved’s spine, but oh, what a thrill that was!! In my opinion, a woman driver like me could handle only a brand new car that too an automatic one but we had only a manual. All my requests for an automatic one fell on the deaf ears and it was not an easy task to convince my hubby. He wanted me to accelerate and brake only on a manual one.

A mention on my driving skills should be a must. The first memorable experience that I can recollect is while visiting my maternal uncle in Muharraq, upon reaching his house, swerving to the left gently (!!), I had somehow managed to crash the huge iron gate! Nothing happened to the gate however, we had to shell out around hundred Dinars to get the front portion of our car repaired in one of our friend’s garages, that too stealthily! No insurance, for we could not complain!

One more incident, a serious one, for no fault of mine though, literally put me off driving. My hubby had replaced new tyres for our car and had forgotten to check the air in the tyres, which was more than what it should have been. At a speed of 40, when my foot hit the accelerator gently, I felt there was something wrong. Again we were visiting my dear Uncle and my son was sitting behind, if I remember right he was around 2 years old. Before the Old Muharraq bridge, since it was a highway, I had increased my speed to 80 and bang.. next thing I knew was that I had hit the central barrier and the front tyre had burst! Thanks be to God, we were indeed very fortunate, none of us were hurt and there was hardly any vehicle plying. A little further, we could have been hurled straight into the sea! I could hear my son wailing at the back seat. The Traffic Patrol Police was on the site within minutes, who was kind and understanding, arranged to tow away our car. We had to summon my Uncle to drive us home!

If I have stopped driving these days, in my opinion it is not without reason. What I read in the dailies about the rules and regulations being flouted while driving, road rage, rash driving, so many young boys and girls losing their lives in accidents, pictures of mangled bodies and vehicles and most important of all the road works (a normal five minutes drive stretches upto half an hour with the traffic jams) that are being carried out are equally to blame and I cannot muster enough courage to drive on the Bahrain roads now!

But, I don’t want to quit yet, when all the road works are complete, I hope to buy a brand new automatic gear car and zoom on the Bahrain roads without any fear with my prized possession…my driving license!

ME, GM DIET & EXERCISE

Having born in May, somehow I seem to have acquired typical Taurus traits!! Besides several others, to name a few: Stubborn…to the letter, sometimes only with certain types(??!!) hard hearted, systematic (left brain!!), romantic, artistic, nomadic, loyal, loving....hope I am not blowing my own trumpet!! Most important…Food loving… so diet is a taboo word in my dictionary! Foodie though I am, I believe in a healthy and balanced diet, but it is my weakness too. My taste buds do not allow me to consume any food in excess but I do have a sweet tooth and I really cannot resist chocolates and ice-creams! Delicious chocolate melting in my mouth is as good as listening to two of my favorite soul-filling numbers from Randy Campbell’s collection “I understand… and the Music Played’! Well only sweet toothies (??) like me will be able to understand it better! Dieting is a daunting task in my department where I work at. With almost thirty loving and caring colleagues, it is quite difficult to refuse the mouth-watering cakes and chocolates (every other day we celebrate either a birthday, birth of a new baby, buying a new car, marriage etc. etc.), Thursday breakfasts, daily something to munch on…too much to go on.. you understand my plight now. One of my colleagues tried to console me saying ‘it’s my physical structure to blame for my current size and not food’!! Depending on my brain (right side) cells’ promptings…I do go for long walks and…sometimes do some exercises at home. My hubby bought me a Tread Mill on my birthday three years back.. Few days I did walk on the TM. then I developed a chest pain because of opening and folding the TM in our two-bedroom flat! Now its lying forlorn in our gallery for lack of space inside the house, sweating it out…Tread Mill I mean…not me!!! Ask for an excuse; I have a couple of them ready by the time I reach home in the evening after the day’s work. For the past few months, I have had this seasonal excuse of my son’s monthly/mock and final exams. No..no! don’t get me wrong.. I am not helping him in his studies. I am only trying Hitlerism once in a while! He can be on the telephone and computer for endless hours if I am not watching it out and not around… I really wonder what do they talk and chat for hours together? If I let him be, then more than the Batelco charges, I am simply panicky about my hubby’s reaction and the ensuing uproar with a lengthy lecture on how to cut down on expenses with a threat either having the outgoing calls barred or line being permanently disconnected! Oh yes, the words ‘recession and inflation’ do infiltrate all the time in our conversations these days! Alas, when he spends on something that is unwanted, well, it is a different matter altogether! Head of the Family – no questions.. no arguments.

Ok. Ok. Now let me come to the point, I feel that I have put on weight certainly at the wrong places and my wardrobe (a reason for bickering and triggering an argument between me and my hubby) though looks full, to me it still looks empty! Curvaceous figures of pretty women and of course some of my friends who walk around like models, at last, made me wake and make up my mind to start with one of those ‘so-long thought of easiest’ diets!!

Well, recently one of my closest friends emailed me a GM Diet Plan which I understand has worked wonders with women of my age…it is best meant for 40 plus. Being somewhere above that range, I always complain of knee pain, chest pain, to mention a few pains! My friend also advised me to give up the diet as soon as I feel weak and if I am on any medication…and tell you what.. I really wanted to give it up that particular instance! It is basically a fruity/veggie diet and sounded so easy, so I disregarded his advice, trusting my gut feeling and decided to go ahead. First day I was supposed to kill my hunger with all the fruits except bananas, which are my favorites (melons in particular.. it says if you stick to melons it is likely that first day one could lose 3 lbs..! Imagine in 7 days me losing 21 lbs..) and 10 tall glasses of water. Water, I have had no problem. With a lot of grumbling and fumbling, my hubby got me half a melon (recession…of course!). I had melon for breakfast, melon for lunch (my colleagues had payasam - a South Indian sweet dish for desert!!) and melon for dinner, gobbled up an apple too. As my melon dinner was over by 7 p.m. I was sitting and watching my favourite TV serial to divert my mind from the kitchen and the refrigerator!! Next thing I knew, my hubby lovingly feeding me a piece of steak!! I reminded him I was dieting, he responded saying since melon is all that I had for the whole day, I better ate something solid, as otherwise I may feel very weak and fall sick. It’s all that I needed, diet fleeing.. I had my proper dinner…Ice-cream included!

Cheers to all my well-wishers especially my doting family, my lovely colleagues and encouraging friends.. with a little jealousy on their part (I am always suspicious of their motives!), coupled with my weakness for chocolates especially, my resolve has ‘Gone with the Wind’!!!

My first ever diet in my whole life on the very first day ending thus, I don’t think I will never ever try dieting again unless of course I take a two-week break from work and sail to no man’s island. Well, on the way, if the boat sinks with my girth that is something to worry about surely!!