EGO

Get rid of your ego..

What is ego really?

Most people think of the word Ego and think that it means you are "arrogant" or you think that you are "better than others". Is that truly the definition of Ego? Is that the only example of Ego?

Absolutely not. Ego is an invisible shield planted around yourself to protect yourself from the outside world. Ego shows up in all sorts of ways.

Ego is being "shy" and not wanting to talk to people. Ego is fear of what others might think of you. Ego is self critical and refuses to accept compliments. Ego is a lack of trust for people because your trust has been violated. Ego is living inside of a comfort zone, because you are afraid of failing. Ego is thinking that everything you do is perfect or striving for perfection. Ego is taking the credit when it doesn't belong to you or not liking it when someone else gets credit. Ego is giving up on the persistence God implanted in you. Ego is being closed minded. Ego is not allowing yourself to learn and grow for fear of the responsibility that comes with that. Ego is not forgiving because you feel justified in your anger. Ego chooses to take offense to what others say or do. Ego is self righteous and critical. Ego is false humility. Ego is oppression and not wanting to move past the past. Ego is having to be in control of everything. Ego is thinking nobody can do it better than you. Ego is an inability to admit you need help. The Ego needs to "keep up with the Jones". Ego needs to appear like everything is perfect when it isn't. Ego is a victim. Ego is pride.

This is only a few examples of Ego. We all comfortably wear our Ego. We just need to make the choice daily to take the invisible shield off and be the true person God intended for us to be. He is in control, he knows our path, he is ready to take on ALL road bumps in our path. If we hand over complete control to God and not try to live it alone, our Ego will safely be left outside the doorway of our life.

In short, Ego is Edging God Out.

Holiday Hypocracy!!

Jenny was elated of the approaching five days Eid break already declared by the Company she worked for. “Danny, year after year, every holiday we entertain guests and we never seem to get out of this place to enjoy ourselves. At least this holiday shall we go and spend our holidays somewhere, out of the country, I mean?” she asked her husband. They definitely needed to break the routine, Jenny had decided long back. “That’s a wonderful idea Jenny, tell me where shall we go” his enthusiastic approval and the query stirred up her excitement at the prospect. “Let us go to Dubai, we can get the visa on arrival, I will make airline and hotel bookings online!”

“But before I make any arrangement, let’s call Arun and wish him, it’s his birthday today”. Arun was one their close family friends working in Oman, living alone for almost a year now, since his family had settled down in their native place as their two teenage daughters were studying in one of the renowned Colleges there. Jenny dialed his mobile which was engaged, “ah! drat, this guy is always busy.. Happy Birthday Arun!” she sang out her greeting when she finally got through the line! ‘Thank you man, so nice of you to have remembered me” Arun piped in! “Your line was busy, who were you jabbering with for so long you yoyo?!”, “Oh, it’s the Home Minister, man!”, that’s how the conversation between Jenny and Arun, went on always! “Danny, come and wish Arun please”, Jenny called and passed on the telephone to him. She was sure they would be on for a while, so she went to the kitchen to forage for some savory snacks, as she could hear her stomach growling!!

“Jenny, Arun wants us to visit him in Oman instead of our going to Dubai, what do you think?” Danny asked her when he ended his conversation at last. “Since Anju is’nt around, his only concern is that you’ll have to cook your own breakfast, lunch and dinner and strictly no non-veggie stuff.. if you feel like having any, well, we can always eat outside”. “I think that’s a splendid suggestion...and...it’s ages since we met each other.. Danny.. oh, then let’s go to Oman”. “Arun says Oman is a beautiful country with lot of mountains and scenic places to see!” “Oh, how I love mountains and greenery around”, in her mind’s eye, Jenny had already reached Oman as she was a nature lover! “Call him up and be a pet, tell him to expect us”, Danny always expected Jenny to arrange everything.. “Well..” she thought “I’ll have to do it, so let me do it”, she called Arun and conveyed their decision to visit Oman, which pleased him.

“Awfully sorry man, I can’t be there, let’s make it next time!”, Jenny saw an email message from Arun, next day evening. Anju wanted him to tackle an urgent issue back home and holidays were handy. “Here goes my holiday and there goes my mountain!”, Jenny wailed inwardly quite disappointed. She knew they could still go to other places, but Danny had a lousy habit of developing cold feet easily which she knew, he would now. She hated to give up the whole idea but changes in plans did not go well with Danny. Well, you can take a horse to the water but can you make it drink? Nooooooooooooooooo!

“Tring, triiing”, their telephone rang, it was Danny’s sister and brother-in-law from Saudi. “Hey guys, we want to come and visit you both for the holidays”, almost every year they visited Danny and Jenny. “Oh, it’s a pleasure, come…come!” “Is he the same Danny who told her that they would cook up an excuse if someone wants to visit them during the holidays” Jenny wondered! To her dismay, after a while, again the phone jingled and this time it was her sister from Qatar ‘Hi Jen, how are you, what about your plans for Eid holiday, are you going out anywhere?”, “My brother-in-law Igor wants to visit you, I’ve given your contact number, he will get in touch with you.. would you mind if he visits you?” Thank God, she waited for Jenny to respond to her queries, all uttered breathlessly in a few seconds. “Mind…hummm… I don’t think I have one right now”, “No, No..honey.. he is most welcome, it would be a pleasure to meet him. We are fine..fine, everything is fine and we are not going anywhere”.. she assured her sister. “You hypocrite!.. who do you think you are fooling?” Jenny chided herself. “Did she detect a hint of sarcasm in my voice.. perhaps, no.. good for her,” cynical Jenny worried as she did not want to hurt her sister “See what a glass of red wine and a peg of whisky – courtesy Igor during their recent trip to Qatar and visit to Igor’s den - brought on you Jenny!!” Weren’t they obliged to entertain IGOR? “Of course.. Of course Your Highness…!”. Well, she could very well take advantage of Igor’s visit.. she could send through him the play station which she promised to her nephew in Qatar so long back!

“I hope, there are no more visitors”, Jenny wished seriously! She was not averse to visitors or guests, rather she loved people visiting them, but she needed a change too.. a fact which nobody seemed to care, understand or even be aware of. “Well, we will not be taking a break anyway, better enjoy their company at least ..though holidays ain’t be holidays anymore. For all I care, I will be in Timbuktu for my next holiday!” Jenny defeatedly mused and started preparing her innumerable things-to-do list before the honourable guests’ arrival!!!!!!

My Mom

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

“Hello mom, how are you?”
I had to literally shout from my end of the telephone line as she could not hear me properly since she is hard of hearing. She completed 75 on November 16.
“Fine darling, how are you?”
Her rather subdued and tired voice perturbed me, instantly I knew something was amiss. Yes, she said she did not feel too well with the change in weather which was a bit cool due to rains. And so, we went on and on for a while until she could blurt out what exactly was bothering her and the real reason behind her indisposition. It took me quite some time to put her at ease from her current worry, which I understand gave her sleepless nights! My mom, she simply worried about each and everything. I promised to call her again in the evening and by the time I called her, to my delight I found her to be in her normal old self again! A simple deed by way of a telephone call which brought in a change in my mom... so quickly...I marveled.

Reading last week Mitch Albom’s ‘For One More Day’ which revolves around a mother and son, deeply touched me and brought back vivid memories of my mom. I miss my mom every day but there are times I miss her awfully, more so now perhaps because I miss my son. I can so clearly feel and understand my mom’s longing and yearning for her children now better than before, as I myself, am going through that phase presently. How often we take our parents, siblings, spouses and even our children for granted. Time and distance sometimes does not let us communicate with my mom every day, but I try and reach her as often as I can. She is a widow, having lost her husband in 1995, shortly after she lost her eldest son and lives with one of her daughters-in-law and grandchild, as she does not want to be away from her late husband’s ancestral house. Though I understand very well her sentiments to cling to her old relics and memories, the fact that all five of her living offspring are away from her and cannot be there to tend to many of her personal, barring financial needs, for reasons beyond our control, makes me feel sad and upsets me. On the other hand, with her selfless love she is such a source of great strength, even from a distance, she always guides us and her words of comfort, most important of all her daily prayers sustain us in every step that we take.

Recently I visited Qatar to meet my sister and her family and my two brothers and we all did have quality time together. Those five days that I spent with my sister especially made me realize how much we missed each other and since my visit, our bonding has been deeper than before. My youngest sister lives nearby to me and she is equally dearer to me. My husband says I am just like my mom - in looks (I read the other day, in most cases, daughters tend to look like their mothers when they grow older), worrying, fretting, crying and well, loss of hearing is the part of the package!! However, the best part to know from him is that I am a source of strength and love to both him and to our son, like my mom!

And when all my siblings echo and express the same sentiments as that of my husband, my cup of happiness brimmeth and overfloweth!

So says Victoria Secunda “A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships” and I totally agree with her.

Thank you and I love you more than ever mom for what I am today!

ABC of Inspiration

It was our Staff Forum today at the Crowne Plaza followed by a delicious barbecue lunch at the poolside. I wanted to look real CCC (Chic, Classic and Cool – in that alphabetic order of course) among the crowd of more than 200 employees and most of my friends to WOW and go gaga over my look! Unfortunately, nothing of that sort happened..I am so disappointed! Due to my bulging waistline, nothing satisfied me while shopping. If I found a Classic skirt, I did not find a Chic blouse, if I found a Chic blouse, well I was not happy with the Cool trousers or Classic skirt. And I needed shoes and jewellery too to go with it! My hubby refused to be a chauffeur and be lugged around which he hated, still hates and gave up.. Imagine he left me alone to find my CCC. Lol.. for him everything is BBB (Beautiful, Best, and Branded! OMG!!). What was appalling is that he made me walk home alone … luckily.. home was just a few meters away.. before the shops pulled the shutters down for the night! Chee Chee Chee!!! Poor me, I have decided never to depend on him in future, as far as my shopping goes..I have not spoken to him yet..for he might very well leave me walk barefoot all around Bahrain when it comes to shopping!!

Now if you ask me, who is responsible? No one, it’s only me the goose! I have to blame myself. I let myself into this. Eeeeeeks, sometimes my own stupidity really frightens me!! When will I be prudent? The question always haunts me even in my sleep!

Since my son left for UK, a ten letter word “depression” (I am good at scrabble!!) catapulted my otherwise normal life into slightly a messy one. Somehow I got that running in circles feeling, which ultimately produced a BULGE!! It’s only the other day, when I received an email from one of my best friends (I am not sure whether he had an intuition as to where I was heading!!) attaching an excerpt from the book of Betty Mahalik “Living a Five Star Life”, that inspired me so much, it woke me up from my deep slumber. I have started reading, going for my regular walks, do a bit of stretching and most important of all stopped gorging myself with whatever that I found in the refrigerator or airtight containers in my little kitchen. ABCs of inspiration.. that's what I call.. A bit late I suppose.. I could have had my wow CCC look today!

Come next Forum (2010!! There is enough time folks..) You’ll find me AAA (Absolutely À la mode & Awesome). I promise to post real pictures of mine then!

Thank you Ravi and Betty, this write-up is dedicated to you both!!!

Living a Five Star Life by Betty Mahalik

Hi everyone!

I received this email from my friend and I liked it. Maybe, you will be inspired to read the book too!

Excerpt from: Living a Five Star Life,
by Betty Mahalik

In this day and age, we are surrounded by messages that virtually scream, "Your life would be perfect if..." My life would be perfect if I had a different job, a different house, car, nose, spouse, bank account (fill in the blank). Or my life would be perfect if I could be like some celebrity whose life appears so well-ordered and perfect-o. This week I encourage you to stop playing "my life would be perfect if," and start playing "my perfect life." What's the difference? Three things: being in the present, an attitude of gratitude, taking action with what's available now.

When we're caught up in the "my life would be perfect if" trap, we've lost touch with the present. And the moment we detach from the present, we can no longer practice gratitude. Think about it: it's difficult to be grateful for what you don't have...and what you don't have is always somewhere out in future-ville.

Look around you right now. Think of 10 things you're grateful for. Do you have a roof over your head and food to eat? I'm guessing the answer is yes. Do you have at least a few good friends or close relationships? Then appreciate them too, right now. Keep going, and practice being in the present and being grateful for what is here and now at least a couple times a day.

You're also probably sitting there thinking "yes but." Yes, but I want more money, a better relationship, more time to travel, to be thinner, happier or whatever. It's one of the great mysteries I'll never figure out. The minute you stop focusing on what you lack, start focusing on what you've already got, and add the "magic" ingredient of action, you actually begin to attract more of what you want. It's an amazing formula for really living your perfect life!

Let's say you want to lose weight or get in better shape, but you don't have an hour a day to spend exercising at the gym. Therefore, you've pretty well resigned yourself to not losing weight or getting in shape. What if you had five minutes though...just about everyone can find five minutes to exercise, stretch, walk around the block or walk the dog. Would you be willing to be grateful for five minutes and make the best possible use of it? Therein lies the beginning of your perfect life!

A simple formula may help you remember how to apply this principle: ·

The present
· + an attitude of gratitude
· + positive action
· = my perfect life.
Try it for a day.

Each time you start dreaming about how perfect your life would be if...come back to this moment, give thanks for what is, and do one thing to perfect what you have and who you are right now. There's a saying that "when the student is ready, the teacher appears." If you're ready to start perfecting your life, your teachers are all around you.

What are you waiting for?

Angel Whispers

As I face myself through teary eyes
I don’t recognize my reflection
A shadow of my former self
I see a fraud, a coward a sad soul
Too ashamed to seek guidance
And always thinking I’m not good enough.

As I stand alone unsure what to do
I hear a sweet whisper in my ear,
Saying “Stay strong, have faith
I will guide you and protect you”

As I turn around to catch a glimpse
I see brightness but was oh so brief,

There was a comfort in this whisper
My spirits lifted, soaring so high

As I lay down and close my eyes
I feel relaxed and calm, I drifted off.

In my dream I awoke
There stood the angel that I hoped
Once again I hear a whisper
Saying “I’m here to give you hope
And stand by your side”

Lost..

I want to scribble for my blog everyday..but somehow somewhere something is amiss perhaps..I feel lost most of the time for reasons unknown.. sometimes it feels as though I am in a deep pit from which I don't want to get out! Will the indecision become a decision with time? Am I being silly? I don't know..

Everything in life changes and to find perfect composure it is necessary to accept this fact. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. And of course we suffer because we cannot accept the truth of transience!

O Liberty...! is it well to leave the gates unguarded?~Thomas Bailey Aldrich

See U soon friends! Cheer Me!!!!

Prayer

Sometimes we're in despair
much sorrow we own.
We forget that God is with us,
and we're never alone.

We only need to seek him,
and he'll help us through,
sending us some sunshine
and mending hearts of blue.

Just a prayer spoken
from the heart
can make our woes take flight
until our burdens suddenly
feel small and light.

So remember in the morning
that he'll be with you
through the day.
And when the stars
light up the sky tonight,
close your eyes and pray.

On the wings of a prayer
you can rise above
the sadness.
With God's gift of love,
your heart will know gladness.

Life...

Life went hand in hand with Joy
Ere Life's heart was broken,
This round world his magic toy
Fashioned to betoken

Some bright mystery that glows
Jubilant in star and rose,
Lord's fair incognitos.
Life kept holiday with Joy
Till Life's heart was broken.

Now the star and rose but seem
Forecasts of their fading,
Pathos of a slipping dream,
Ruin masquerading
In a fragile gold and pink.

Life bends brooding o'er the brink
Whither stars and roses sink,
Life to whom all beauties seem
Forecasts of their fading.

Hope and Faith

One of our relatives from my husband’s side, a teenage girl of thirteen, is battling throat cancer which has spread to her bones and the blood, in the Tata Memorial Center in Mumbai. Chances of her recovery are very thin, that's what we have been told. Just three weeks back she was in Bahrain and now in Mumbai. It is a very sad situation and we have no answers to our WHYs. I firmly believe in one's destiny but I also equally believe that hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them and faith makes things possible, though not easy. Sometimes God allows pain so we can be stronger and sometimes He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves. And there are times God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything that He gave us. Time, the cradle of hope and life without faith in something is too narrow a space to live.

We do not know what's in store for the young girl Venessa, but let us all pray for her, strengthening our faith in the Lord and hope for the best.

Ye Dil...Hai Mushkil..

This can happen only.. I repeat only… in Bombay, I mean Amchi Mumbai....no where else. Read on.....

Only local train passengers in Mumbai will know how helpful commuters try to be...... a hapless victim fell prey to the over enthusiastic Mumbai’s local train commuters.

Our hero, a man from Pune, wanted to go to Matunga, but as luck and Trains would have it, boarded a fast train not halting at his destination. He panicked on realizing his mistake but by then the local had started moving.

On seeing his plight, a sympathetic co-passenger decided to come to his rescue. It seemed that he had been commuting by that particular train (6:03 pm Kasara Fast) for the past 6 years and had noticed that the train always slowed down just before Matunga station and crawled at a snail's pace while passing through it. He told the man to jump out of the running train as it slowed down and that with a little bit of fleet-footedness, he would make it safely on terra firma. However, knowing the man's inexperience, he added some words of caution:

"Keep running the moment you jump or you'll fall. Just keep running." He stressed the word "running" lest the man not know the laws of motion. The train did slow down just before Matunga station and at the prompting of His mentor, our hero jumped out of the train and started running as if All Hell had broken loose.

What he didn't realise, of course, was that he was running parallel to the train instead of running away from it. Meanwhile, the train slowed down further, so that the man was running faster than the train. In the process, he reached the door of the next compartment and the footboard commuters there pulled him in thinking he was trying to board the train!

To his agony, the train picked up speed and sped past Matunga and his new co-passengers started to congratulate him on how lucky he had been, until he told them that they had actually undone what he had done with great difficulty.

Those standing at the door of his "ex-compartment" had witnessed the whole drama and just couldn't stop laughing at the poor man's situation, while he grinned sheepishly!!!

Ae dil, hai mushkil, jeena yahaan,
Zara hatke, zara bachke,
Yeh hai Bombay meri jaan!

My Shoes

Thank God my Shoes Fit!

I woke up one day and I realized that there were many things about my life that I was not satisfied with or better still there were challenges that were threatening my soul.

And I said to myself, “why should anyone envy me or want to be in my shoes”, they don’t know how far I’ve come, they don’t know what lies ahead of me and neither do they know how dissatisfied I get with myself from time to time.

People don’t know the troubles you have had or the price that you’ve had to pay to get to where you are. All they want to know is that they wish they were like you.

Why should you wish you were in anybody’s shoes when you hardly know how they fit?

When you’ve worn your shoes for a while, they take the shape of your feet and align to the way you walk. If you were to wear my shoes, you will not be comfortable in them.

So I stopped wishing that I am in someone else’s shoes because it might not fit; rather I thank God for my shoes, because they fit!

I have learnt to be the best in what I do, and I know no-one can replace me anywhere and in any sphere.

I am an original, my God is not in the cloning business, he makes only and only originals.

Make the best of what you do; besides you have this beautiful life to live ONLY ONCE.

Live to the fullest.

Peg After Peg..hic..hic..hic..!

I bet no one can beat this...
Really a hilarious one...


I never take risk while drinking
.
.
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Gandhiji is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk
.
.
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Gandhiji is giving a smile
.
.
I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
.
.
I to my wife : Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage
Wife : Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her.
.
.
I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
.
.
I to Wife : But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
.
.
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and
quickly enjoy one peg in the sink.
.
.
Gandhiji laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes &
wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep it
in the black cupboard.
.
.
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk.
.
.
I to Wife: (getting angry) you call Mr. Chopra a horse?
If you say that again, I will cut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
.
.
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile.
.
.
Gandhiji is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk.
.
.
I to Wife : (laughing) So Chopra is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
.
.
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside.
.
.
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Becoz Gandhiji never takes a risk.
.
.
Chopra is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz I never take...... never take ..... never take what???
I never take a potato I think...

Senior Citizens

Here are Ten Commandments for those Over Fifty years old.

1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.

2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving anything, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.

3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.

4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them. Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing or babysitting are finished. Let your children raise their own off-springs.

5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the aging process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.

6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you don't have them, it's probably too late.

7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.

8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.

9. Befriend death. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.

10. Be at peace with your Creator. For, He is all you have after you leave this life.

MAY BE…

Maybe. . We were supposed to meet the
Wrong people before meeting the right
One so that, when we finally meet the
Right person, we will know how to be
Grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . It is true that we don't
Know what we have until we lose it,
But it is also true that we don't know
What we have been missing until it Arrives.

Maybe . . . The brightest future will
Always be based on a forgotten past;
After all, you can't go on
Successfully in life until you let go
Of your past mistakes, failures and Heartaches.

Maybe . . You should hope for enough
Happiness to make you sweet, enough
Trials to make you strong, enough
Sorrow to keep you human, and enough
Hope to make you happy.

Maybe . . . The happiest of people
Don't necessarily have the best of
Everything; they just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.

Maybe .. . . The best kind of friend is
The kind you can sit on a porch and
Swing with, never say a word, and then
Walk away feeling like it was the best
Conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . . . Happiness waits for all
Those who cry, all those who hurt, all
Those who have searched, and all those
Who have tried, for only they can
Appreciate the importance of all the
People who have touched their lives.

May be . . You should do something nice
For someone every single day, even if
It is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . . . There are moments in life
When you miss someone -- a parent, a
Spouse, a friend, a child -- so much
That you just want to pick them from
Your dreams and hug them for real, so
That once they are around you
Appreciate them more.

Maybe … giving someone all your love
Is never an assurance that they will
Love you back. Don't expect love in
Return; just wait for it to grow in
Their heart; but, if it doesn't, be
Content that it grew in yours.

Maybe .. . . You should dream what you
Want to dream; go where you want to
Go, be what you want to be, because
You have only one life and one chance
To do all the things you dream of, and
Want to do.

"Life is only travelled ONCE; Today’s MOMENT becomes Tomorrow’s MEMORY.
Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself…."

Try Positive Thinking

Cracked Pot...

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything,

That's how the light gets in.

~Leonard Cohen

Many of us miss some of life's best things while saying, "I don't know how to do that. If I were to try, I'd only make a fool of myself."

We wanted our sole offspring to learn swimming at an early age and when we broached the topic, his tiny whimper ‘mom, what if I drown’ made me quite apprehensive to mention the subject again. I did not want to force him to do something which he did not want to do, which practice and habit of mine continues to this day. Besides, my fear of water is such for I had almost drowned myself while picnicking (my first picnic immediately after my arrival in Bahrain with a large group of people) at the Adhari Park.. well, someone had to yank me out of the knee-deep pool TWICE!! Don’t ask me for more details.. I can laugh my head off now though it was quite embarrassing at that time!! But one fine morning, our boy on his own came to us and asked us to enrol him for the swimming classes, which we did. Both of us accompanied him for a month and kept an eye during his lessons which were for two hours daily. It was such a relief and pleasure just after two or three classes watching him swim like a fish! Well, I wanted to give it a try myself but for my earlier escapade.. I never took the chance, even with two coaches, guards and all the other safety paraphernalia around!!

Certain flaws are necessary but perfectionists settle for nothing short of a first-rate performance from themselves. When they come across something that has to be learned through trial and error, they become intolerant of their limitations. They pile up points in the things they can do with ease and skill, while ignoring - and maybe even putting down - the things they do poorly. Sometimes... when we hold out for everything, we walk away with nothing.

This bent personality can get one depressed because nobody is capable of best performance in everything they do. I am not perfect and I am glad that I am not. Due to my loss of hearing, I always felt like a cracked pot and I used to get so tense, sometimes I botched even the things I was good at doing. Sometimes I would just shut myself up to wallow in self-pity for days together for the fear of being a laughing stock with my flaw. It was quite difficult to relax but I have now become a little wise because it's liberating to find out I can make mistakes and still survive! If I did not hear the first time what my dear ones or my friends and colleagues mouthed, I can still ask them to repeat.. they may get irked, annoyed or laugh, but still understand. I have realized if my new recipe flops, the world won't end.. my hubby would taste it still with a funny look on his face and would certainly land up with a hilarious comment! If I make a mistake at work, I can own it up and still rectify. Mistakes make you learn, they are the stepping stones of success.. aren’t they? My math being so poor, I feel if I can't master calculus or statistics, I can still be a good person. If someone hears me singing off-key, at the most they might give me a strange look..that’s it! No one is perfect and that is why pencils have erasers they say.

If we were perfect in every area of our lives, our lives would be terribly boring and dull. There would be nothing to learn. No more challenges. No relationships with peers. I am generally a chatterbox and imagine if the rest of people around me probably felt too intimidated to talk or joke with me, walk or work with me, I shudder at the mere thought of it! It is better to use talents that we possess. Whatever it is that we want to do and do well likely will be learned through a process that involves some miscues and false starts. But, if it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing poorly at first. I have accepted that I am not perfect, it’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.

I want to give it a shot and if you guys and gals find me with Gold Medals (nothing less!) in the next London 2012 Olympic Games.. don't be surprised.. only remember I have definitely stopped being paralyzed by my fears of swimming and driving!! Forget about my hearing...bingo.. three more years to go!!

Wish me good luck and I wish good luck to all the ones who feel like a CRACKED POT just like me!

DO NOT EVER QUIT.

"WAQT NAHI"

Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hasi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.

Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Roney Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.

Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Tu Hi Bata Ae Zindagi,
Is Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi.........

Join Hands

Once a Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...

Making a Difference

The Internet represents the human being with its merits and defects. You can find anything and everything on the Internet, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Whenever I find time and I use the Internet, there is plenty of Good that I find.

Here is an extraordinary story about a teacher and one of her students which I have time and again, received through email and also found while surfing the net. This is so emotional which has brought me to tears every time that I read it. I am posting it on my blog to be shared with others.

A Teacher’s Lesson

This is a story of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn’t play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.” After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “teacher’s pets.”

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer—the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.” Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

I did cry and it's ok for you to shed a tear or two.

Laughter..the Best Medicine

A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh is a sort of glorified internal massage, performed rapidly and automatically. It manipulates and revitalizes corners and unexplored crannies of the system that are unresponsive to most other exercise methods.

Research has shown health benefits of laughter ranging from strengthening the immune system to reducing food cravings to increasing one's threshold for pain. There's even an emerging therapeutic field known as humor therapy to help people heal more quickly, among other things. Humor also has several important stress relieving benefits.

Benefits of Laughter:

Hormones: Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine (adrenaline), dopamine and growth hormone. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress.

Physical Release: Have you ever felt like you "have to laugh or I'll cry"? Have you experienced the cleansed feeling after a good laugh? Laughter provides a physical and emotional release.

Internal Workout: A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward. It even provides a good workout for the heart.

Distraction: Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions in a more beneficial way than other mere distractions.

Perspective: Studies show that our response to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a 'threat' or a 'challenge'. Humor can give us a more lighthearted perspective and help us view events as 'challenges', thereby making them less threatening and more positive.

Social Benefits of Laughter: Laughter connects us with others. Also, laughter is contagious, so if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more, and realize these benefits as well. By elevating the mood of those around you, you can reduce their stress levels, and perhaps improve the quality of social interaction you experience with them, reducing your stress level even more!

Laughter is one of my all-time favorite stress management strategies because it's free, convenient, and beneficial in so many ways. You can get more laughter in your life with the following strategies:

T.V., Movies and Books: There's no shortage of laughter opportunities from the entertainment, both at the theater and in the aisles of the video stores, as well as at home with T.V. comedies. While wasting your time watching something marginally funny may actually frustrate you, watching truly hilarious movies and shows is an easy way to get laughter into your life whenever you need it. Read books which are brilliantly funny, richly entertaining and humourous.

Laugh With Friends: Going to a movie with friends is a great way to get more laughter in your life. The contagious effects of laughter may mean you'll laugh more than you otherwise would have during the show, plus you'll have jokes to reference at later times. Having friends over for a party is also a great setup for laughter and other good feelings.

Find Humor In Your Life: Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. If something is so frustrating or depressing it's ridiculous, realize that you could 'look back on it and laugh.' Think of how it will sound as a story you could tell to your friends, and then see if you can laugh about it now. With this attitude, you may also find yourself being more lighthearted and silly, giving yourself and those around you more to laugh about. Approach life in a more mirthful way and you'll find you're less stressed about negative events, and you'll achieve the health benefits of laughter.

'Fake It Until You Make It': Just as studies show the positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is fake or real, faked laughter also provides the benefits mentioned above. So smile more, and fake laughter; you'll still achieve positive effects, and the fake merriment may lead to real smiles and laughter.

Have fun in your life.

When did I have a belly laugh last? I really can't recollect!! When I read Joseph Heller's Catch-22 perhaps, which reminds me it's time to read it once again! Ha Ha Ha!!

Aging Gracefully...

An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints.
"I see spots before my eyes," he said.
"It's due to old age," said the doctor.
"No food agrees with me," said the man.
"That too is due to old age," said the doctor.
"The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older."
"My back is giving trouble," persisted the man.
"Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable."
"Old age," said the doctor.
This was too much for the man.
"Why do you go on saying 'old age, old age'," he screamed.
"If you cannot cure me, say so. I'll go elsewhere."
"See how easily you lost your temper," said the doctor.
"That is another characteristic of old age."

May be, a person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. It is sort of harmless to pass comments about one's age, I guess. And many of us joke about it harmlessly quite often. But still many of us also have a deep unease about our age and our aging.. an unease that can hold back our self-esteem and our happiness. For many of us for many reasons, denying our age is a harmless game.. isn’t it? As we age older and as we get further away from birth and closer to death, we are sensitive about our age. It's just a way to share our unease of growing older with people around us. Is our happiness, self-esteem, our zest, sense of daily joy and our life satisfaction is all at stake as we age? Aging gracefully should be a matter of self-esteem for all of us as age is important. Denying one's age, or even being sensitive about it, can put one out of action. Our years, our heritage, our scars good or bad are all part of who we are. They should be a matter of comfort and pride and even our joy. I don't think we should let happiness elude us, which we do so when we feel embarrassed, guilty, or even shy about any part of who we are.

There was a time when the elders were revered, because they bore knowledge, wisdom and traditions which were carried down from generations. These days I feel we settle for just knowledge. Am I too old-fashioned, not exactly.. I am just stating a fact. Youth has its own beauty, advantages, joy and reasons to be admired of. So, does the middle age. In fact, every age is important and every age is beautiful. Whatever age we are, right now that is the perfect age for each one of us..the perfect age to be proud of.

They say that age is all in your mind. We do not grow old merely by living a number of years, but we grow old by deserting our ideals. Just a few months back, I needed to change my job. Having secured a wonderful job since then I feel that at the time, I was a little bit stupid, confused and indecisive as I was during my teens.. and worrying because of my age.. whereas all I wanted to be wise, self-confident and assertive as I was during my mid twenties. My dear and near ones did not let me give up my enthusiasm amidst my confusion and indecisiveness and today I am truly indebted to all of them. I thank the Almighty for everything.

On a lighter note, well, the other day, I did detect a single silver delicate hair on my left eye-brow!! To my plain eye it was invisible but wearing my spectacles yes.. Now.. don’t expect me to let the cat out of the bag totally.. I am just…. As Mortimer Collins quotes “A man is as old as he's feeling, A woman as old as she looks”. I will leave it to your imagination!!

In the central place of every heart
there is a recording chamber.
So long as it receives a message of
beauty, hope, cheer, and courage –
so long are you young.
When the wires are all down
and our heart is covered with
the snow of pessimism
and the ice of cynicism,
then, and only then,
are you grown old.
~Douglas MacArthur

YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE!

A plum once said, just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.

Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Never stoop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest glory - your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as you is not your world.

There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king/queen by just being yourself. Find that world... in fact, that world will find you.

What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot. The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfil only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose. You are here to be you... just you.

There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; a time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent; a time when a J.R.D. Tata was required and he was sent. There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be. Don't miss yourself and let the world not miss you.

In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinite of time to come, there will be no one like you. Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated. You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece... your Master's piece. Celebrate your Uniqueness.

Where There is a Will There is a Way!

If you have the inclination and determination the do something, you will always be able to find a way toward your goal. There is nothing that is hopeless or can't be done if you are resolute enough.

Often it makes me smirk and laugh ..I do have that mean streak in me.. well, not always .. it all depends on the person and the situation of course.. when excuses are being given for not doing this or that.. And I feel terribly guilty if any time I do it myself. I feel, sometimes we do it either to please or not to cause any hurt but I also believe in what Mahatma Gandhi said "a ‘NO’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘YES’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble". So as far as possible I try and avoid giving excuses. Don't do anything that you do not want to but don't give excuses either is my futuristic motto!!

I think the story that follows must have been read by many.. An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to misdo the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot, for me if you weren’t in the prison.

Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

“For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!”

At 4 a.m. The next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asked him what to do next. His son’s reply was:

“Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad It’s the best I could do for you from here.”

So the moral of the story is that “whatever situation we are in, we may be able to help someone in need”. No matter where we are, if we have decided to do something deep from our heart, we can do it.

Now it is a completely different question why such an intelligent fellow ended up in jail though!

Whatever your situation, don't let it get you down and keep you down. Every now and then we’ve probably all had moments of thinking we couldn’t do something because we were too old or too young, too dumb or too smart, too threatening or too intimidated, too experienced or too naïve. We may also have thought we couldn’t do something because of physical, mental or emotional limitations. At the same time, we may have people telling us we can’t because of the same considerations.

Reading a friend’s blog was an inspiration for my own blog and it gives me immense pleasure to write on my blog. For the past three days I have been incubating! Well, I do have a ready excuse of a runny nose.. like millions in the world, I am allergic to dust and Saturday which is a week-end off and it being my general cleaning day, the small carpet in our drawing room is the real culprit! I haven’t been to the doc lest I be treated like one of laboratory mice – what do you say in Hindi “Bali Ka Bakra” and be quarantined.. with all the test kits arriving for testing.. since the outbreak of Swine Flu has caused enough havoc all over…and Bahrain is no exception!

Well, well, if I wanted to write, I could have…’Where is a Will there is a Way' as Napoleon said!

Love & Ego

'Sometimes love is for a moment,
Sometimes love is for a lifetime.
Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.

'Once upon a time there was an island,
where all the feelings lived.
One day there was a storm in the sea
and the island was about to get drowned.

Every feeling was scared
but Love made a boat to escape.
Every feeling boarded the boat..
Only one feeling was left.

Love got down to see who it was...
It was EGO.

Love tried and tried but
ego wasn't moving also.
The water was rising..
Every one asked love to leave him
and come in the boat,

But love was made to love.
At last all the feelings escape and
Love dies with ego on the island..
Love Dies because of EGO!

So, Kill Ego And Save Love.....

A Message to all:
'Argument wins the situations
but loses the person.
So when you argue with your loved ones,
remember that situations are
never more important than your loved ones.....'.

Courtesy: My Uncle's one of forwards on email!

Our Son's Graduation

Yesterday, 28 May 2009 was one of the happiest days and proudest moments for us, parents of our son Canute, when he received his final Certificate from the Chief Guest Very Rev. Mgr. Francis Jamieson, Vicar General of Arabia which event was held at the Sacred Heart School Auditorium, Isa Town, Kingdom of Bahrain on completion of his 'O' Level studies.

As his School Principal Sr. Benedicta Pinto in her speech rightly said, this is just the beginning and all the students have a long way to go to achieve their goals.

With God's blessings and Canute's best efforts, he received commendation for all subjects, except Religion or Hindi, I am not sure, for the applause and cheer when he received his Certificate was deafening. He was one of the few top students (secured 'A's all thru) among his 74 batchmates. We are really very happy. His final 'O' Level results from UK will be out only beginning of August 2009.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings and also a big 'thank you' for all our loved ones and friends for their good wishes and blessings.

With Love..from Cindy

My Dearest Darling Mommy,

By the time you read this, I am out of this house and your lives! Today I am taking this extreme step of running away from home. I know you will miss me, especially Dad and Dave more than you, but I cannot help it. I don’t want to suffer any more. I know that you love me but again, I feel Dad loves me more than you and Dave loves me more than Dad!

I am ever so grateful to you, Dad and Dave for having adopted an orphan like me, giving me a home and taken care of me during all these twelve years. Just because I could not express my emotions, it doesn’t mean that I have no feelings like you but I know that it is quite difficult for you to believe it. In all these years I was with you, you always thought I wanted everything to go my own way. You are wrong Mom. Oh.. if only you had known.. Anyway it is too late now and it doesn’t matter any more to me.

I never saw my mother who abandoned me, DD, KD and RD, when we were just four month old babies. It was Dad who brought me home to you and Dave. Though I was petrified initially, but then, when you all fussed over me, it reassured me. Marissa, the Philippino Aunty took DD to her house. KD and RD were taken by Dad’s Bahraini friend Uncle Ali. I later learnt that KD ran off from Ali Uncle’s house and RD died. I saw DD once again when Marissa Aunty was away on vacation and she brought him to us as she wanted you to look after him for a few days. I was so happy to see him but he went away again, not to be seen since then.

You, Dad and Dave went on vacation for one month and you left me with Dad’s friend Som..chai Uncle from Thailand. Though he was nice, I did not like him at all. I was scared of him. You don’t know, he came home so late sometimes, I know he was busy but I was so hungry and angry too. That’s why I threw all your books down from the shelves and tore off the sofa. When you paid eighty dinars to refurbish the sofa, I felt that you guys deserved it! You are lucky I could not break Dad’s fish tank, which I tried but failed. It was fun watching you look for many things which were missing from the bedroom.. remember your wrist watch which you found under the refrigerator!! serves you right!

How I loved those outings when Dad took us all out in the evenings. I really loved jumping from your lap to Dave’s and Dad’s. Passersby admired my beauty, he he he.. were you jealous? Little bit..?! At least now .. out with the truth Mom..

Remember Koko, whom Dad brought home when he found him homeless and roaming. It was love at first sight Mom, but what will you know about love. You only love Dad and Dave. I purposely pushed myself in between you and Dad whenever you were sitting together, did you know that? Ever tried to understand me, my feelings and that I was growing up and I needed a friend too? No, never. He was such a smart, dashing and handsome fellow. Now don’t act as though you did not know it. That’s why you sent him away ain’t it.. when you saw the first signs of trouble? And how I hated you for it all these years, you really don’t know. My love for Koko…You nipped it in the bud itself. You are so selfish Mom!

You know something? It gave me such a pleasure to soil your bed sheets and quilts when I was mad at you. And you washed them again and again.. again and again.. hiya.. Your Cindy is a cool girl Mom.. you don’t know her. But then, I have always been a ‘Daddy’s girl’. I loved it when Dad bathed me, with the perfumed soap and powder. I was scared only of three things.. your hair dryer, pressure cooker and the hoover because of the noise. The noise was worse than a thunder.. ooooooooooooh! Sometimes though, I did not like the food you guys wanted me to gobble up, so I went on hunger strike, until you gave me what I wanted!!

And the last straw Mom.. was when you brought two month old Sassy home from Aunt Sabina, just because aunty said that she could not look after her. Oh, you are so dumb sometimes or you act like one. Don’t you understand? She did not.. mom.. did not want to look after Sassy. You knew it.. isn’t it? Our house is a like a guest house. I hated Sassy and I really hit her hard many times whenever you were not around. How dare she? She wanted to sleep on my bed and play with my toys. I could not stand it.

Since I could not tell you in so many words that I was feeling unloved, unwanted and felt pushed out, I had to show you my jealousy. That was the only way out for me. You are smart enough and I am sure you might have noticed it from the change in my normal behaviour. If you don’t then let me tell you now, that’s the reason I was hiding and not eating and you thought I was unwell. Ha..ha.. Actually, I feel a bit guilty because Sassy fell ill and died within six months of her coming to live with us. When she was feverish and coughing and no medicine worked, I was wondering whether she fell ill because I terrorized her. If you think that’s the reason, please forgive me. Believe me mom, to see you crying when she died made me cry too.

Now I feel so relieved for I have got it all off my chest.. all my pent up anger, frustration and my feelings. I have been planning to elope for many days now since I have seen Dave keeping the front door open often. He forgets to close it and I am going to sneak out one of these days, stealthily without his notice. Please, pleeeeeeeeese don’t shout at him, I love him so much. I am old enough to face this bad bad world, so please do not worry about me. Do not try to look for me because I myself do not know where I will be going.

But.. I love you and will miss you always Mom. Please don't cry ok.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses to you, Dad and Dave.

Good bye Mom!

Yours ever loving
Cindy

P.S.

1. This is the first time I am writing a letter to you, that too a lengthy one, so if there are any mistakes, don’t look at them!

2. Another thing, when I find a better place to settle down with a smarty like Koko, then some day I will definitely write to you all about me and send you my picture, with my family if I am lucky enough and of course Mom.. my current address so that you can keep in touch with me and update me on everything that goes on with you, Dad and Dave. Love ya! See ya Mom..Bye.. Cindy.

Attitudes & Choices

The day before yesterday our local daily ran a news item: Lai Jiansheng, a 66-year-old passerby greeted Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt from a failed construction project, who had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in Southern China, with a hand shake and pushed him off the ledge. Chen survived, suffering spine and elbow injuries. Lai ‘mentally ill’ as he was quoted, walking shoeless (!?) to the hospital for his pills, was fed up of Chen’s selfish activity in which traffic in the city had been backed up for five hours and the police had cordoned off the area. Sounds weird? No. To me, it’s like punishing others for one’s own choices.

Our life today is the result of our attitudes and choices in the past. Our life tomorrow will be the result of our attitudes and the choices we make today. A couple of days back a story was circulating on the email, which is worth pondering. An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you." What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently. It is the only life we will ever build. Even if we live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity.

Every human being is selfish and I am no exception. My collection of books and sharing it with only a selected few speaks volumes. Like the foolish boy who had a bag full of beautiful marbles who was quite proud of them. In fact, he thought so much of the marbles that he would neither play with them himself nor would he let anyone else play with them. He only took them out of the bag in order to count and admire them; they were never used for their intended purpose. Yet that boy carried that coveted bag of marbles everywhere he went.

Well, there was also a wise boy who wished he could have such a fine bag of marbles. So this boy worked hard and earned money to purchase a nice bag to hold marbles. Even though he had not yet earned enough with which to purchase any marbles, he had faith and purchased the marble bag. He took special care of the bag and dreamed of the day it would contain marbles with which he could play and share with his friends.

Alas, the foolish boy with all of the marbles didn't take care of the marble bag itself, and one day the bag developed a hole in the bottom seam. Still, he paid no attention and, one by one, the marbles fell out of the bag. It didn't take long, once the foolish boy's marble bag developed a hole, for the wise boy to begin to find those beautiful marbles, one at a time, lying unnoticed on the ground. And, one by one, he added them to his marble bag. The wise boy thus gained a fine bag full of marbles in no time at all. This boy played with the marbles and shared them with all of his friends. And he always took special care of the bag so he wouldn't lose any. Selfish and careless, the foolish boy lost all of his marbles and was left holding the bag.

Aren’t we sometimes like the foolish boy? Our wardrobes full of clothes, shoe racks full of shoes for years which we do not wear but store or allow them to tear rather than share, food and household items which we do not consume but throw.. and so on.. BUT NOT SHARE! I am reminded of a quote by Oscar Wilde, a 19th Century Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic "There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up".

Long ago, one of my friends with whom I used to share and unburden my thoughts often, advised me not to be too analytical or criticize/judge too harshly about anyone including myself for, then living a normal life would be quite difficult. So, sharing my books with only a few wouldn’t amount to too much of selfishness I suppose…here I go again, it’s ‘my books’! I DEFINITELY NEED TO CHANGE MY ATTITUDE and if at any time in the future, I choose to donate my books then I will most certainly post another article.. bragging about my great act of unselfishness of course!

Last but not the least, here is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody have done.

Confused? hope not……

Expectations

The door bell rang and Jenny hurried to open it. There stood her son Kevin with disappointment, worry, a little fear perhaps written large all over his tender young face. ‘Hi son’ she greeted as usual. ’Hi Mom’ came the dispirited response, as he came inside the house. ‘Mom…’, she stopped him in mid-sentence. ‘Son, first you have the juice, then let’s talk’, that was their routine. She knew he was upset, his board results were out that morning. She was sure that he had definitely done well, but was not quite sure what bothered him. They shared a very close rapport and she was the first one to know if anything went amiss. She waited until Kevin finished his juice. ‘Now tell me darling what’s wrong’. ‘Mom..’ his voice quavered. ‘I am sorry Mom I did not make it to the top ten’. She could see his eyes starting to fill. ‘I so much wanted to be a topper, I studied so hard mom..’ she could sense his frustration. ‘I only secured 89% overall.. I failed you and Dad mom.. I am really sorry mom..’ he went on and on. Gosh, she thought what have we done? Where have we gone wrong? Did we put inordinate pressure on him unknowingly? Hush..hush.. She hugged him, tried to soothe him and in a while she could feel the tension leaving him a little.

"Kevin, at least this time we want you to do your best in the finals.. If you want to become a Doctor... you'd better get good marks in science otherwise it will be quite difficult to get a seat in a good college..” Yes, many times both Jenny and Danny said something similar to Kevin when he failed to come up to their expectations, but she did not realize how seriously it affected their young son.

Kevin was a brilliant and sensitive boy unique with his own special abilities. He did things independently, took no tuitions unlike most his of classmates, but definitely playful at times. Danny and Jenny wanted Kevin to do well for his own sake; after all he is the one who will benefit from the success. Surely, it was not that their prestige and status was linked to Kevin’s success. Though they did have realistic expectations from Kevin she was sure they did not over-expect from him. They took it as their responsibility, indeed their duty to make Kevin feel comfortable about what he is, confident about what he can do and positive about what he has achieved.

“We are very proud of you son.. you have certainly done very well. Though we told you to do well in the finals, you know very well that we did not expect you to be a topper.” Jenny assured Kevin. ‘There is no need for you to feel so upset’. ‘What about Dad? What will he say?’ He was worried about his father’s reaction, for Danny could be harsh at times. “I’ll handle your Dad, don’t you worry son.. have your lunch and take a nap, everything is going to be fine. Ok.?’ And as she turned to go into the bedroom for that much needed talk with her husband before he arrived home, she was held into a tight embrace of Kevin and she heard his relieved whisper “Thank you Mom..I love you Mom’ 'I love you too son', she responded.. her son was no less a topper she thought.. It convinced her that indeed everything was going to be just fine.

Before I forget

Let me jot down what I want to write. Oh..Oh…before I forget let me first get that cold cuppa tea from the micro left for warming up, just for 30 secs..

Getting ready to go to office.. I watch my worried expression reflected in the dressing table mirror.. I want something.. what’s it.. think…think. What’s it? Uttering an expletive (in my case it helps, I am not sure about others) suddenly I remember that I am looking for a particular shade of lipstick! I am getting late, any time a miscall on my mobile is due from the lady who provides transport, a sharp reminder that I have to go to work. Oh, where is my lipstick? Gotcha! It’s in my bag…. Now which one….ooooh? There goes my failing memory..again and again.

These days I holler for my son if he is around to pick up the wanted stuff from the fridge, which is in the bedroom for lack of space in the kitchen. If I am lucky enough it appears in a zippy, for Soccer on the television won’t let him hear his mom’s shout. Otherwise my parched throat urges me towards the fridge to get what I want myself, only to stand in front of it scratching my head as to why I am there for!

Since the blogging began, I have burnt two of my only steel vessels, which reminds me I need to visit Geant Supermarket .. there is a big sale!

An elephant never forgets they say. Oh, how I wish I had an elephant’s memory.. with a five feet tall and 148 lbs heavy frame! Wishful thinking..

On a serious note, my heart goes out to people who suffer from Alzheimer’s disease, amnesia and other memory related diseases. Let a prayer always be on our lips for such sufferers.

As we age, we have many things to remember, so we tend to forget. My hubby is not immune to this.. only one thing he remembers is to reach his own house at the end of the day everyday! Rest all is a mystery.. But I have learnt that if you don't have a good memory, you have to have good habits such as always putting the house keys in the same place or always doing things in the same order. Memory improves with practice, that's been working for me. We keep learning, it's good practice, but with two perpetual haphazard guys at home, partial amnesia affects me once in a while.