My Dearest Darling Mommy,
By the time you read this, I am out of this house and your lives! Today I am taking this extreme step of running away from home. I know you will miss me, especially Dad and Dave more than you, but I cannot help it. I don’t want to suffer any more. I know that you love me but again, I feel Dad loves me more than you and Dave loves me more than Dad!
I am ever so grateful to you, Dad and Dave for having adopted an orphan like me, giving me a home and taken care of me during all these twelve years. Just because I could not express my emotions, it doesn’t mean that I have no feelings like you but I know that it is quite difficult for you to believe it. In all these years I was with you, you always thought I wanted everything to go my own way. You are wrong Mom. Oh.. if only you had known.. Anyway it is too late now and it doesn’t matter any more to me.
I never saw my mother who abandoned me, DD, KD and RD, when we were just four month old babies. It was Dad who brought me home to you and Dave. Though I was petrified initially, but then, when you all fussed over me, it reassured me. Marissa, the Philippino Aunty took DD to her house. KD and RD were taken by Dad’s Bahraini friend Uncle Ali. I later learnt that KD ran off from Ali Uncle’s house and RD died. I saw DD once again when Marissa Aunty was away on vacation and she brought him to us as she wanted you to look after him for a few days. I was so happy to see him but he went away again, not to be seen since then.
You, Dad and Dave went on vacation for one month and you left me with Dad’s friend Som..chai Uncle from Thailand. Though he was nice, I did not like him at all. I was scared of him. You don’t know, he came home so late sometimes, I know he was busy but I was so hungry and angry too. That’s why I threw all your books down from the shelves and tore off the sofa. When you paid eighty dinars to refurbish the sofa, I felt that you guys deserved it! You are lucky I could not break Dad’s fish tank, which I tried but failed. It was fun watching you look for many things which were missing from the bedroom.. remember your wrist watch which you found under the refrigerator!! serves you right!
How I loved those outings when Dad took us all out in the evenings. I really loved jumping from your lap to Dave’s and Dad’s. Passersby admired my beauty, he he he.. were you jealous? Little bit..?! At least now .. out with the truth Mom..
Remember Koko, whom Dad brought home when he found him homeless and roaming. It was love at first sight Mom, but what will you know about love. You only love Dad and Dave. I purposely pushed myself in between you and Dad whenever you were sitting together, did you know that? Ever tried to understand me, my feelings and that I was growing up and I needed a friend too? No, never. He was such a smart, dashing and handsome fellow. Now don’t act as though you did not know it. That’s why you sent him away ain’t it.. when you saw the first signs of trouble? And how I hated you for it all these years, you really don’t know. My love for Koko…You nipped it in the bud itself. You are so selfish Mom!
You know something? It gave me such a pleasure to soil your bed sheets and quilts when I was mad at you. And you washed them again and again.. again and again.. hiya.. Your Cindy is a cool girl Mom.. you don’t know her. But then, I have always been a ‘Daddy’s girl’. I loved it when Dad bathed me, with the perfumed soap and powder. I was scared only of three things.. your hair dryer, pressure cooker and the hoover because of the noise. The noise was worse than a thunder.. ooooooooooooh! Sometimes though, I did not like the food you guys wanted me to gobble up, so I went on hunger strike, until you gave me what I wanted!!
And the last straw Mom.. was when you brought two month old Sassy home from Aunt Sabina, just because aunty said that she could not look after her. Oh, you are so dumb sometimes or you act like one. Don’t you understand? She did not.. mom.. did not want to look after Sassy. You knew it.. isn’t it? Our house is a like a guest house. I hated Sassy and I really hit her hard many times whenever you were not around. How dare she? She wanted to sleep on my bed and play with my toys. I could not stand it.
Since I could not tell you in so many words that I was feeling unloved, unwanted and felt pushed out, I had to show you my jealousy. That was the only way out for me. You are smart enough and I am sure you might have noticed it from the change in my normal behaviour. If you don’t then let me tell you now, that’s the reason I was hiding and not eating and you thought I was unwell. Ha..ha.. Actually, I feel a bit guilty because Sassy fell ill and died within six months of her coming to live with us. When she was feverish and coughing and no medicine worked, I was wondering whether she fell ill because I terrorized her. If you think that’s the reason, please forgive me. Believe me mom, to see you crying when she died made me cry too.
Now I feel so relieved for I have got it all off my chest.. all my pent up anger, frustration and my feelings. I have been planning to elope for many days now since I have seen Dave keeping the front door open often. He forgets to close it and I am going to sneak out one of these days, stealthily without his notice. Please, pleeeeeeeeese don’t shout at him, I love him so much. I am old enough to face this bad bad world, so please do not worry about me. Do not try to look for me because I myself do not know where I will be going.
But.. I love you and will miss you always Mom. Please don't cry ok.
With lots of love, hugs and kisses to you, Dad and Dave.
Good bye Mom!
Yours ever loving
Cindy
P.S.
By the time you read this, I am out of this house and your lives! Today I am taking this extreme step of running away from home. I know you will miss me, especially Dad and Dave more than you, but I cannot help it. I don’t want to suffer any more. I know that you love me but again, I feel Dad loves me more than you and Dave loves me more than Dad!
I am ever so grateful to you, Dad and Dave for having adopted an orphan like me, giving me a home and taken care of me during all these twelve years. Just because I could not express my emotions, it doesn’t mean that I have no feelings like you but I know that it is quite difficult for you to believe it. In all these years I was with you, you always thought I wanted everything to go my own way. You are wrong Mom. Oh.. if only you had known.. Anyway it is too late now and it doesn’t matter any more to me.
I never saw my mother who abandoned me, DD, KD and RD, when we were just four month old babies. It was Dad who brought me home to you and Dave. Though I was petrified initially, but then, when you all fussed over me, it reassured me. Marissa, the Philippino Aunty took DD to her house. KD and RD were taken by Dad’s Bahraini friend Uncle Ali. I later learnt that KD ran off from Ali Uncle’s house and RD died. I saw DD once again when Marissa Aunty was away on vacation and she brought him to us as she wanted you to look after him for a few days. I was so happy to see him but he went away again, not to be seen since then.
You, Dad and Dave went on vacation for one month and you left me with Dad’s friend Som..chai Uncle from Thailand. Though he was nice, I did not like him at all. I was scared of him. You don’t know, he came home so late sometimes, I know he was busy but I was so hungry and angry too. That’s why I threw all your books down from the shelves and tore off the sofa. When you paid eighty dinars to refurbish the sofa, I felt that you guys deserved it! You are lucky I could not break Dad’s fish tank, which I tried but failed. It was fun watching you look for many things which were missing from the bedroom.. remember your wrist watch which you found under the refrigerator!! serves you right!
How I loved those outings when Dad took us all out in the evenings. I really loved jumping from your lap to Dave’s and Dad’s. Passersby admired my beauty, he he he.. were you jealous? Little bit..?! At least now .. out with the truth Mom..
Remember Koko, whom Dad brought home when he found him homeless and roaming. It was love at first sight Mom, but what will you know about love. You only love Dad and Dave. I purposely pushed myself in between you and Dad whenever you were sitting together, did you know that? Ever tried to understand me, my feelings and that I was growing up and I needed a friend too? No, never. He was such a smart, dashing and handsome fellow. Now don’t act as though you did not know it. That’s why you sent him away ain’t it.. when you saw the first signs of trouble? And how I hated you for it all these years, you really don’t know. My love for Koko…You nipped it in the bud itself. You are so selfish Mom!
You know something? It gave me such a pleasure to soil your bed sheets and quilts when I was mad at you. And you washed them again and again.. again and again.. hiya.. Your Cindy is a cool girl Mom.. you don’t know her. But then, I have always been a ‘Daddy’s girl’. I loved it when Dad bathed me, with the perfumed soap and powder. I was scared only of three things.. your hair dryer, pressure cooker and the hoover because of the noise. The noise was worse than a thunder.. ooooooooooooh! Sometimes though, I did not like the food you guys wanted me to gobble up, so I went on hunger strike, until you gave me what I wanted!!
And the last straw Mom.. was when you brought two month old Sassy home from Aunt Sabina, just because aunty said that she could not look after her. Oh, you are so dumb sometimes or you act like one. Don’t you understand? She did not.. mom.. did not want to look after Sassy. You knew it.. isn’t it? Our house is a like a guest house. I hated Sassy and I really hit her hard many times whenever you were not around. How dare she? She wanted to sleep on my bed and play with my toys. I could not stand it.
Since I could not tell you in so many words that I was feeling unloved, unwanted and felt pushed out, I had to show you my jealousy. That was the only way out for me. You are smart enough and I am sure you might have noticed it from the change in my normal behaviour. If you don’t then let me tell you now, that’s the reason I was hiding and not eating and you thought I was unwell. Ha..ha.. Actually, I feel a bit guilty because Sassy fell ill and died within six months of her coming to live with us. When she was feverish and coughing and no medicine worked, I was wondering whether she fell ill because I terrorized her. If you think that’s the reason, please forgive me. Believe me mom, to see you crying when she died made me cry too.
Now I feel so relieved for I have got it all off my chest.. all my pent up anger, frustration and my feelings. I have been planning to elope for many days now since I have seen Dave keeping the front door open often. He forgets to close it and I am going to sneak out one of these days, stealthily without his notice. Please, pleeeeeeeeese don’t shout at him, I love him so much. I am old enough to face this bad bad world, so please do not worry about me. Do not try to look for me because I myself do not know where I will be going.
But.. I love you and will miss you always Mom. Please don't cry ok.
With lots of love, hugs and kisses to you, Dad and Dave.
Good bye Mom!
Yours ever loving
Cindy
P.S.
1. This is the first time I am writing a letter to you, that too a lengthy one, so if there are any mistakes, don’t look at them!
2. Another thing, when I find a better place to settle down with a smarty like Koko, then some day I will definitely write to you all about me and send you my picture, with my family if I am lucky enough and of course Mom.. my current address so that you can keep in touch with me and update me on everything that goes on with you, Dad and Dave. Love ya! See ya Mom..Bye.. Cindy.
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