Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
Many of us miss some of life's best things while saying, "I don't know how to do that. If I were to try, I'd only make a fool of myself."
We wanted our sole offspring to learn swimming at an early age and when we broached the topic, his tiny whimper ‘mom, what if I drown’ made me quite apprehensive to mention the subject again. I did not want to force him to do something which he did not want to do, which practice and habit of mine continues to this day. Besides, my fear of water is such for I had almost drowned myself while picnicking (my first picnic immediately after my arrival in Bahrain with a large group of people) at the Adhari Park.. well, someone had to yank me out of the knee-deep pool TWICE!! Don’t ask me for more details.. I can laugh my head off now though it was quite embarrassing at that time!! But one fine morning, our boy on his own came to us and asked us to enrol him for the swimming classes, which we did. Both of us accompanied him for a month and kept an eye during his lessons which were for two hours daily. It was such a relief and pleasure just after two or three classes watching him swim like a fish! Well, I wanted to give it a try myself but for my earlier escapade.. I never took the chance, even with two coaches, guards and all the other safety paraphernalia around!!
Certain flaws are necessary but perfectionists settle for nothing short of a first-rate performance from themselves. When they come across something that has to be learned through trial and error, they become intolerant of their limitations. They pile up points in the things they can do with ease and skill, while ignoring - and maybe even putting down - the things they do poorly. Sometimes... when we hold out for everything, we walk away with nothing.
This bent personality can get one depressed because nobody is capable of best performance in everything they do. I am not perfect and I am glad that I am not. Due to my loss of hearing, I always felt like a cracked pot and I used to get so tense, sometimes I botched even the things I was good at doing. Sometimes I would just shut myself up to wallow in self-pity for days together for the fear of being a laughing stock with my flaw. It was quite difficult to relax but I have now become a little wise because it's liberating to find out I can make mistakes and still survive! If I did not hear the first time what my dear ones or my friends and colleagues mouthed, I can still ask them to repeat.. they may get irked, annoyed or laugh, but still understand. I have realized if my new recipe flops, the world won't end.. my hubby would taste it still with a funny look on his face and would certainly land up with a hilarious comment! If I make a mistake at work, I can own it up and still rectify. Mistakes make you learn, they are the stepping stones of success.. aren’t they? My math being so poor, I feel if I can't master calculus or statistics, I can still be a good person. If someone hears me singing off-key, at the most they might give me a strange look..that’s it! No one is perfect and that is why pencils have erasers they say.
If we were perfect in every area of our lives, our lives would be terribly boring and dull. There would be nothing to learn. No more challenges. No relationships with peers. I am generally a chatterbox and imagine if the rest of people around me probably felt too intimidated to talk or joke with me, walk or work with me, I shudder at the mere thought of it! It is better to use talents that we possess. Whatever it is that we want to do and do well likely will be learned through a process that involves some miscues and false starts. But, if it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing poorly at first. I have accepted that I am not perfect, it’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.
Many of us miss some of life's best things while saying, "I don't know how to do that. If I were to try, I'd only make a fool of myself."
We wanted our sole offspring to learn swimming at an early age and when we broached the topic, his tiny whimper ‘mom, what if I drown’ made me quite apprehensive to mention the subject again. I did not want to force him to do something which he did not want to do, which practice and habit of mine continues to this day. Besides, my fear of water is such for I had almost drowned myself while picnicking (my first picnic immediately after my arrival in Bahrain with a large group of people) at the Adhari Park.. well, someone had to yank me out of the knee-deep pool TWICE!! Don’t ask me for more details.. I can laugh my head off now though it was quite embarrassing at that time!! But one fine morning, our boy on his own came to us and asked us to enrol him for the swimming classes, which we did. Both of us accompanied him for a month and kept an eye during his lessons which were for two hours daily. It was such a relief and pleasure just after two or three classes watching him swim like a fish! Well, I wanted to give it a try myself but for my earlier escapade.. I never took the chance, even with two coaches, guards and all the other safety paraphernalia around!!
Certain flaws are necessary but perfectionists settle for nothing short of a first-rate performance from themselves. When they come across something that has to be learned through trial and error, they become intolerant of their limitations. They pile up points in the things they can do with ease and skill, while ignoring - and maybe even putting down - the things they do poorly. Sometimes... when we hold out for everything, we walk away with nothing.
This bent personality can get one depressed because nobody is capable of best performance in everything they do. I am not perfect and I am glad that I am not. Due to my loss of hearing, I always felt like a cracked pot and I used to get so tense, sometimes I botched even the things I was good at doing. Sometimes I would just shut myself up to wallow in self-pity for days together for the fear of being a laughing stock with my flaw. It was quite difficult to relax but I have now become a little wise because it's liberating to find out I can make mistakes and still survive! If I did not hear the first time what my dear ones or my friends and colleagues mouthed, I can still ask them to repeat.. they may get irked, annoyed or laugh, but still understand. I have realized if my new recipe flops, the world won't end.. my hubby would taste it still with a funny look on his face and would certainly land up with a hilarious comment! If I make a mistake at work, I can own it up and still rectify. Mistakes make you learn, they are the stepping stones of success.. aren’t they? My math being so poor, I feel if I can't master calculus or statistics, I can still be a good person. If someone hears me singing off-key, at the most they might give me a strange look..that’s it! No one is perfect and that is why pencils have erasers they say.
If we were perfect in every area of our lives, our lives would be terribly boring and dull. There would be nothing to learn. No more challenges. No relationships with peers. I am generally a chatterbox and imagine if the rest of people around me probably felt too intimidated to talk or joke with me, walk or work with me, I shudder at the mere thought of it! It is better to use talents that we possess. Whatever it is that we want to do and do well likely will be learned through a process that involves some miscues and false starts. But, if it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing poorly at first. I have accepted that I am not perfect, it’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.
I want to give it a shot and if you guys and gals find me with Gold Medals (nothing less!) in the next London 2012 Olympic Games.. don't be surprised.. only remember I have definitely stopped being paralyzed by my fears of swimming and driving!! Forget about my hearing...bingo.. three more years to go!!
Wish me good luck and I wish good luck to all the ones who feel like a CRACKED POT just like me!
DO NOT EVER QUIT.
I would rather now "Think Why Not" than lament later with "What if"...nice thought Evelyn.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right in your thinking Kau..thanks. But for many of us it is a bit difficult to get out of that 'but and if' plague I suppose..
ReplyDelete