Lost..

I want to scribble for my blog everyday..but somehow somewhere something is amiss perhaps..I feel lost most of the time for reasons unknown.. sometimes it feels as though I am in a deep pit from which I don't want to get out! Will the indecision become a decision with time? Am I being silly? I don't know..

Everything in life changes and to find perfect composure it is necessary to accept this fact. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. And of course we suffer because we cannot accept the truth of transience!

O Liberty...! is it well to leave the gates unguarded?~Thomas Bailey Aldrich

See U soon friends! Cheer Me!!!!

Cracked Pot...

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything,

That's how the light gets in.

~Leonard Cohen

Many of us miss some of life's best things while saying, "I don't know how to do that. If I were to try, I'd only make a fool of myself."

We wanted our sole offspring to learn swimming at an early age and when we broached the topic, his tiny whimper ‘mom, what if I drown’ made me quite apprehensive to mention the subject again. I did not want to force him to do something which he did not want to do, which practice and habit of mine continues to this day. Besides, my fear of water is such for I had almost drowned myself while picnicking (my first picnic immediately after my arrival in Bahrain with a large group of people) at the Adhari Park.. well, someone had to yank me out of the knee-deep pool TWICE!! Don’t ask me for more details.. I can laugh my head off now though it was quite embarrassing at that time!! But one fine morning, our boy on his own came to us and asked us to enrol him for the swimming classes, which we did. Both of us accompanied him for a month and kept an eye during his lessons which were for two hours daily. It was such a relief and pleasure just after two or three classes watching him swim like a fish! Well, I wanted to give it a try myself but for my earlier escapade.. I never took the chance, even with two coaches, guards and all the other safety paraphernalia around!!

Certain flaws are necessary but perfectionists settle for nothing short of a first-rate performance from themselves. When they come across something that has to be learned through trial and error, they become intolerant of their limitations. They pile up points in the things they can do with ease and skill, while ignoring - and maybe even putting down - the things they do poorly. Sometimes... when we hold out for everything, we walk away with nothing.

This bent personality can get one depressed because nobody is capable of best performance in everything they do. I am not perfect and I am glad that I am not. Due to my loss of hearing, I always felt like a cracked pot and I used to get so tense, sometimes I botched even the things I was good at doing. Sometimes I would just shut myself up to wallow in self-pity for days together for the fear of being a laughing stock with my flaw. It was quite difficult to relax but I have now become a little wise because it's liberating to find out I can make mistakes and still survive! If I did not hear the first time what my dear ones or my friends and colleagues mouthed, I can still ask them to repeat.. they may get irked, annoyed or laugh, but still understand. I have realized if my new recipe flops, the world won't end.. my hubby would taste it still with a funny look on his face and would certainly land up with a hilarious comment! If I make a mistake at work, I can own it up and still rectify. Mistakes make you learn, they are the stepping stones of success.. aren’t they? My math being so poor, I feel if I can't master calculus or statistics, I can still be a good person. If someone hears me singing off-key, at the most they might give me a strange look..that’s it! No one is perfect and that is why pencils have erasers they say.

If we were perfect in every area of our lives, our lives would be terribly boring and dull. There would be nothing to learn. No more challenges. No relationships with peers. I am generally a chatterbox and imagine if the rest of people around me probably felt too intimidated to talk or joke with me, walk or work with me, I shudder at the mere thought of it! It is better to use talents that we possess. Whatever it is that we want to do and do well likely will be learned through a process that involves some miscues and false starts. But, if it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing poorly at first. I have accepted that I am not perfect, it’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.

I want to give it a shot and if you guys and gals find me with Gold Medals (nothing less!) in the next London 2012 Olympic Games.. don't be surprised.. only remember I have definitely stopped being paralyzed by my fears of swimming and driving!! Forget about my hearing...bingo.. three more years to go!!

Wish me good luck and I wish good luck to all the ones who feel like a CRACKED POT just like me!

DO NOT EVER QUIT.

Making a Difference

The Internet represents the human being with its merits and defects. You can find anything and everything on the Internet, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Whenever I find time and I use the Internet, there is plenty of Good that I find.

Here is an extraordinary story about a teacher and one of her students which I have time and again, received through email and also found while surfing the net. This is so emotional which has brought me to tears every time that I read it. I am posting it on my blog to be shared with others.

A Teacher’s Lesson

This is a story of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn’t play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.” After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “teacher’s pets.”

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer—the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.” Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

I did cry and it's ok for you to shed a tear or two.

Laughter..the Best Medicine

A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh is a sort of glorified internal massage, performed rapidly and automatically. It manipulates and revitalizes corners and unexplored crannies of the system that are unresponsive to most other exercise methods.

Research has shown health benefits of laughter ranging from strengthening the immune system to reducing food cravings to increasing one's threshold for pain. There's even an emerging therapeutic field known as humor therapy to help people heal more quickly, among other things. Humor also has several important stress relieving benefits.

Benefits of Laughter:

Hormones: Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine (adrenaline), dopamine and growth hormone. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress.

Physical Release: Have you ever felt like you "have to laugh or I'll cry"? Have you experienced the cleansed feeling after a good laugh? Laughter provides a physical and emotional release.

Internal Workout: A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward. It even provides a good workout for the heart.

Distraction: Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions in a more beneficial way than other mere distractions.

Perspective: Studies show that our response to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a 'threat' or a 'challenge'. Humor can give us a more lighthearted perspective and help us view events as 'challenges', thereby making them less threatening and more positive.

Social Benefits of Laughter: Laughter connects us with others. Also, laughter is contagious, so if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more, and realize these benefits as well. By elevating the mood of those around you, you can reduce their stress levels, and perhaps improve the quality of social interaction you experience with them, reducing your stress level even more!

Laughter is one of my all-time favorite stress management strategies because it's free, convenient, and beneficial in so many ways. You can get more laughter in your life with the following strategies:

T.V., Movies and Books: There's no shortage of laughter opportunities from the entertainment, both at the theater and in the aisles of the video stores, as well as at home with T.V. comedies. While wasting your time watching something marginally funny may actually frustrate you, watching truly hilarious movies and shows is an easy way to get laughter into your life whenever you need it. Read books which are brilliantly funny, richly entertaining and humourous.

Laugh With Friends: Going to a movie with friends is a great way to get more laughter in your life. The contagious effects of laughter may mean you'll laugh more than you otherwise would have during the show, plus you'll have jokes to reference at later times. Having friends over for a party is also a great setup for laughter and other good feelings.

Find Humor In Your Life: Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. If something is so frustrating or depressing it's ridiculous, realize that you could 'look back on it and laugh.' Think of how it will sound as a story you could tell to your friends, and then see if you can laugh about it now. With this attitude, you may also find yourself being more lighthearted and silly, giving yourself and those around you more to laugh about. Approach life in a more mirthful way and you'll find you're less stressed about negative events, and you'll achieve the health benefits of laughter.

'Fake It Until You Make It': Just as studies show the positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is fake or real, faked laughter also provides the benefits mentioned above. So smile more, and fake laughter; you'll still achieve positive effects, and the fake merriment may lead to real smiles and laughter.

Have fun in your life.

When did I have a belly laugh last? I really can't recollect!! When I read Joseph Heller's Catch-22 perhaps, which reminds me it's time to read it once again! Ha Ha Ha!!

YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE!

A plum once said, just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.

Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Never stoop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest glory - your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as you is not your world.

There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king/queen by just being yourself. Find that world... in fact, that world will find you.

What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot. The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfil only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose. You are here to be you... just you.

There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; a time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent; a time when a J.R.D. Tata was required and he was sent. There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be. Don't miss yourself and let the world not miss you.

In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinite of time to come, there will be no one like you. Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated. You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece... your Master's piece. Celebrate your Uniqueness.

Where There is a Will There is a Way!

If you have the inclination and determination the do something, you will always be able to find a way toward your goal. There is nothing that is hopeless or can't be done if you are resolute enough.

Often it makes me smirk and laugh ..I do have that mean streak in me.. well, not always .. it all depends on the person and the situation of course.. when excuses are being given for not doing this or that.. And I feel terribly guilty if any time I do it myself. I feel, sometimes we do it either to please or not to cause any hurt but I also believe in what Mahatma Gandhi said "a ‘NO’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘YES’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble". So as far as possible I try and avoid giving excuses. Don't do anything that you do not want to but don't give excuses either is my futuristic motto!!

I think the story that follows must have been read by many.. An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to misdo the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot, for me if you weren’t in the prison.

Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

“For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!”

At 4 a.m. The next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asked him what to do next. His son’s reply was:

“Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad It’s the best I could do for you from here.”

So the moral of the story is that “whatever situation we are in, we may be able to help someone in need”. No matter where we are, if we have decided to do something deep from our heart, we can do it.

Now it is a completely different question why such an intelligent fellow ended up in jail though!

Whatever your situation, don't let it get you down and keep you down. Every now and then we’ve probably all had moments of thinking we couldn’t do something because we were too old or too young, too dumb or too smart, too threatening or too intimidated, too experienced or too naïve. We may also have thought we couldn’t do something because of physical, mental or emotional limitations. At the same time, we may have people telling us we can’t because of the same considerations.

Reading a friend’s blog was an inspiration for my own blog and it gives me immense pleasure to write on my blog. For the past three days I have been incubating! Well, I do have a ready excuse of a runny nose.. like millions in the world, I am allergic to dust and Saturday which is a week-end off and it being my general cleaning day, the small carpet in our drawing room is the real culprit! I haven’t been to the doc lest I be treated like one of laboratory mice – what do you say in Hindi “Bali Ka Bakra” and be quarantined.. with all the test kits arriving for testing.. since the outbreak of Swine Flu has caused enough havoc all over…and Bahrain is no exception!

Well, well, if I wanted to write, I could have…’Where is a Will there is a Way' as Napoleon said!

Attitudes & Choices

The day before yesterday our local daily ran a news item: Lai Jiansheng, a 66-year-old passerby greeted Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt from a failed construction project, who had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in Southern China, with a hand shake and pushed him off the ledge. Chen survived, suffering spine and elbow injuries. Lai ‘mentally ill’ as he was quoted, walking shoeless (!?) to the hospital for his pills, was fed up of Chen’s selfish activity in which traffic in the city had been backed up for five hours and the police had cordoned off the area. Sounds weird? No. To me, it’s like punishing others for one’s own choices.

Our life today is the result of our attitudes and choices in the past. Our life tomorrow will be the result of our attitudes and the choices we make today. A couple of days back a story was circulating on the email, which is worth pondering. An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you." What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently. It is the only life we will ever build. Even if we live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity.

Every human being is selfish and I am no exception. My collection of books and sharing it with only a selected few speaks volumes. Like the foolish boy who had a bag full of beautiful marbles who was quite proud of them. In fact, he thought so much of the marbles that he would neither play with them himself nor would he let anyone else play with them. He only took them out of the bag in order to count and admire them; they were never used for their intended purpose. Yet that boy carried that coveted bag of marbles everywhere he went.

Well, there was also a wise boy who wished he could have such a fine bag of marbles. So this boy worked hard and earned money to purchase a nice bag to hold marbles. Even though he had not yet earned enough with which to purchase any marbles, he had faith and purchased the marble bag. He took special care of the bag and dreamed of the day it would contain marbles with which he could play and share with his friends.

Alas, the foolish boy with all of the marbles didn't take care of the marble bag itself, and one day the bag developed a hole in the bottom seam. Still, he paid no attention and, one by one, the marbles fell out of the bag. It didn't take long, once the foolish boy's marble bag developed a hole, for the wise boy to begin to find those beautiful marbles, one at a time, lying unnoticed on the ground. And, one by one, he added them to his marble bag. The wise boy thus gained a fine bag full of marbles in no time at all. This boy played with the marbles and shared them with all of his friends. And he always took special care of the bag so he wouldn't lose any. Selfish and careless, the foolish boy lost all of his marbles and was left holding the bag.

Aren’t we sometimes like the foolish boy? Our wardrobes full of clothes, shoe racks full of shoes for years which we do not wear but store or allow them to tear rather than share, food and household items which we do not consume but throw.. and so on.. BUT NOT SHARE! I am reminded of a quote by Oscar Wilde, a 19th Century Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic "There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up".

Long ago, one of my friends with whom I used to share and unburden my thoughts often, advised me not to be too analytical or criticize/judge too harshly about anyone including myself for, then living a normal life would be quite difficult. So, sharing my books with only a few wouldn’t amount to too much of selfishness I suppose…here I go again, it’s ‘my books’! I DEFINITELY NEED TO CHANGE MY ATTITUDE and if at any time in the future, I choose to donate my books then I will most certainly post another article.. bragging about my great act of unselfishness of course!

Last but not the least, here is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody have done.

Confused? hope not……